


Old Demons Die Hard

by actuallyoaklyn



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:34:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15554796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyoaklyn/pseuds/actuallyoaklyn
Summary: Patrick and Kayleigh have never fought that much.





	Old Demons Die Hard

Patrick and Kayleigh have never fought that much, but that hasn't always been a good thing.

In the early days of their relationship, when they were just kids who wanted to play music and didn't know how to handle the notoriety life had shoved in their direction, it was less about just getting along and more about just staying quiet.

They'd never been particularly fond of confrontation. Avoiding it just seemed natural. Bottling up their issues seemed better than acknowledging them. Even Kayleigh, who never stopped talking, preferred the silence between them over talking.

That didn't end well. 2008 was a rough year.

They've grown up a lot since then. If they have a disagreement, they talk it out. No more bottling it up out of fear of fucking things up or losing eachother or just any kind of argument. Years of work and compromise and love built up enough trust between them that they had lost that fear entirely. They don't really argue that much now because they can just talk.

But it doesn't always happen that way.

And on one particular Sunday evening, Patrick and Kayleigh are painfully reminded of this.

Kayleigh had been a little more closed off than usual. She'd been - quiet. That by itself isn't unusual for most people, but Kayleigh doesn't do quiet and she never really has.

Part of him reasonably assumes that it's just something bothering her that she doesn't wanna say, but the other part -

Patrick cuts off the thought before it has a chance to form fully. He can't expect the worst. She's probably just having a off day or two. Or three.

Or five. In a row.

It's 7pm when Patrick decides to finally say something. He's holding her in his arms as they lay on the couch, the TV blaring some stupid rom-com that's become background noise. Now's just as good a time as any, he thinks.

"Hey," he says, nudging his wife. "You awake?"

Kayleigh shifts. "Mhmm," she mumbles. "What's going on?"

Patrick hears the fatigue in her voice and he quickly realizes she's probably not up for this conversation. "Nothing," he says. "Go back to sleep."

Kayleigh looks at him, not at all fully awake. "No, 's fine, tell me."

"Go to sleep, you sound drunk," Patrick chuckles.

Kayleigh smiles, but it's not one of her big, excited grins that could light up the world. It's tight and forced. It's definitely not like her.

Patrick's worry gets the better of him. "Have you been OK lately?"

Kayleigh shifts again. "Yeah."

Patrick, on any other day, would leave it at that. No matter how worried he is, no matter how much he thinks that something is wrong, he almost always just leaves it. If she doesn't wanna talk, she won't talk.

But that smile.

Part of him says it's a mistake, but this time - just this one time - he pushes it.

"Are you sure you're fine?" he says.

"I'm fine, it's fine," she responds in a way that very much implies no, I'm not fine, this is not fine.

"You know you can tell me if something's bothering you."

"Yes and nothing's bothering me."

He knows he's just badgering her when he asks again, but the words are out of his mouth before he can stop them.

Kayleigh sits up and takes a deep breath.

"You know what, Patrick? Fine Everything is not fine," she snaps, making Patrick wince. "I'm tired and I'm frustrated and I wanna be left alone. I'm not in the mood to talk. I need to figure this shit out on my own and Patrick, I love you but you really are not fucking helping."

Patrick is... shocked, to say the least. Her sudden aggression stuns him into silence for a minute.

"OK," Patrick says, then takes a pause, choosing his words carefully. "OK. I - I'm here if you need me. I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry for pushing it."

Kayleigh looks at him and Patrick can see her frustration turn to regret when she notices the hurt in his eyes.

"God, Patrick." She sighs and rubs her face. "No, I'm - I'm sorry. That was rude. It's just - I don't know. I want - I don't know. I don't know what I want."

Patrick sits up and faces her. "You want something?"

"I -" Kayleigh stutters and stumbles over her words. "I don't know. I mean, I do - but like, I don't. Like - I know what I want, but - this is just really complicated." She falls back onto the couch cushions.

"Please just - tell me what you're feeling," Patrick tries.

"Can we just - not talk about this? Please," she says, pleading.

Patrick sighs. Old habits die hard.

"Kayleigh, I - I just want you to talk to me," Patrick replies, a hint of frustration in his tone. "You keep saying you need something from me, but you're not telling me what. I'd like to know what I can do to help you, and not talking isn't gonna help anyone."

"I told you it's complicated," Kayleigh groans. "I - I don't know how to tell you. I don't know if I even want to."

"This isn't helping."

"What am I supposed to do? I can't understand what I want from me, much less what you want," Kayleigh snaps again.

"This isn't about what I want from you, this is about what you want," Patrick says, attempting to be calm but severely failing.

"I don't know what I want! I mean, I guess I do, but -"

"Kayleigh, just tell me what you're feeling! Just say it! I - that's all I need from you! OK?"

"I don't know how! Are you fucking listening?! I don't even wanna talk about this! You just keep pushing it!" They're both yelling now, but neither seems to be aware of it.

"Because I want to help you and not talking isn't gonna make it go away!"

"I don't want it to go away! I want - I - "

"Please, Kayleigh, just say it."

"Fine! I feel like - I feel like I want something different!"

Patrick latches onto it because finally. "From what? Us? Me?"

"Us! And you! Both! They're the same goddamn thing!"

"Why couldn't you have just said that?"

"I was busy trying to work it out in my fucking head while you were yelling at me! God, can you just - " Kayleigh sighs. "Can you just give me a minute?"

Patrick takes a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. "Fine."

Silence hangs in the air between them as Kayleigh stares at the floor. Patrick's just starting to really regret everything he just said when she speaks again.

"I want you to stop being nice to me."

Well, this was unexpected.

Patrick sits almost in a state of shock, desperately tries to figure out what she means in his head, cycling through a million different possibilities, some of which - some of which, he isn't sure he could bring himself to do, no matter how much Kayleigh really does need it. He doesn't like the thought of that, and he tries to move past it because she hasn't even said anything else, but his anxiety is taking the wheel on this one.

What if he really can't do what she wants? What if he just isn't able to?

What if he isn't enough for her?

What if this is the end?

Kayleigh's sigh breaks his thoughts and just looking at her calms him down enough to ask what she means.

Kayleigh looks away. There's another pause that feels like eternity before she speaks. "You're so sweet," she says quietly. "You're always so sweet."

That doesn't tell Patrick a damn thing about what she wants, but he doesn't say anything.

"And you treat me so well, and that's - amazing, and I'm so lucky to have you, but." Kayleigh sighs. "I - I feel bad. When you're so nice to me."

Patrick cannot figure out what the hell she's talking about, so he takes a shot in the dark. "Do you want me to be mean?"

Kayleigh laughs. "No, God," she says. "I'm not gonna make you be mean to me. I don't think it's even in your blood."

Patrick chuckles a little. Of course he was being ridiculous. Why the hell would she want him to be mean?

"I just," she says quietly. "I just feel bad about it sometimes. You spoil me and do all this amazing stuff for me and it's so much that I can't return. I don't do anything for you."

Kayleigh looks at him, uncharacteristically shy, holding her knees up to her chin.

"You do everything for me," Patrick says, a little struck that she can't see what he does. "You love me and make me happy. You make me laugh. And God knows I wouldn't get out of the house or talk to people as much as I do if it weren't for you."

"But." He sighs.

"If you don't want me to do as much, then I won't. Is that what you want?"

Kayleigh smiles and it's nothing like the tight grin from earlier. It's natural and beautiful and honest. It might be the most genuine smile she's had all week.

"Yeah," she says. "Yeah. It is."

Kayleigh takes a deep breath and crawls on the couch over to Patrick, falling onto his chest, forcing him to readjust, but he doesn't mind. He wraps his arms around her as she nestles her head in his neck.

"I love you," she mumbles, and he can feel it on his pulse.

"I love you too," he whispers. "I'm sorry for forcing that out of you."

Kayleigh shifts. "You're forgiven."

Patrick smiles even if he doesn't agree with her.

As Kayleigh's steady breathing lulls him to sleep, Patrick is mostly content. There's still a little part of him in the back of his mind that makes him pray this is all that Kayleigh was being bothered by.

He knows that things are better now. He knows they've grown up. But no matter how many years pass, he knows that sometimes old demons poke their head in the door.

He just hopes that this is the only one that decided to come back.


End file.
